Posted by: Cartoon Pig Dog | June 18, 2008

My little bitty dick

Ok, so which one of you people out there is telling everyone that I have a small one?

It seems that at least a few times every day I get an email trying to tell me how to increase the size of my penis, if this is what the modern world calls advertising, then I think it’s pathetic. Wanna sell me a car, then fine, advertise your car to me and I may or may not listen, but don’t send me tons of email telling me that my penis is too small to satisfy a woman.

Although I do recall a girl pointing at it once, laughing. Then she asked “who the hell are you going to satisfy with that little thing?”

I just smiled and answered, “Me.”

And now back to what I was saying: how come every time you turn on the TV after ten o’clock at night you get bombarded with all these half naked women pleading with you to call them and saying they will do “anything” you want on the phone, do guys really respond to this and call those numbers? Is this what life has come to in the 21st century, making ourselves bigger so we can talk dirty on the phone? What the hell is going on here?

Didn’t we used to meet members of the opposite sex by bumping into them at the market or meeting them at a dance or some other social gathering, or even in a bar? Or where ever it was, we actually “met” each other, you know, live and in person. Now it seems our sex lives have been downgraded to phone sex (that just sounds painful) and internet porn. And to get back to the original subject here, who the hell cares how big your penis is if you’re only using it on the phone? I can’t believe these people can get away with the TV ads, don’t they know there are kids all over the country with TVs in their bedrooms who can easily sneak into their mothers’ purses and take their credit cards out to call and see what it’s all about?

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to turn back the clock to the days when romance was more important than talking dirty and feelings were more important than penis size.

And when love was really love.

Or maybe I’m just old fashioned and should shut up.

EDIT by Ednose: Too much caps lock gives me a headache. Also, fixed a few typos for ya.



  1. Good writing. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed my Google News Reader..

    Matt Hanson

  2. Human society is disturbed. That social movement proves that we are bound for extinction.

  3. This really gave me the giggles, extremely funny, and extremely well written.
    And I completely agree with you, all we really need
    is a whole lotta love
    (no matter how many inches of love that means)

  4. All right, Moxom, a little Led Zeppelin in the morning. 😀

  5. “EDIT by Ednose: Too much caps lock gives me a headache. Also, fixed a few typos for ya.”

    Sorry about that, I’m half blind so caps are easier for me to read. Since you are subscribed to one of my other blogs, you’ve probably seen a lot of my caps locked postings by now, lol.
    Oh and thanks for the typo editing, I caught one of them last night but I was half asleep and didn’t look over the whole thing.

  6. Use ctrl+ on Firefox or Internet Explorer to make the page easier to read.

  7. Or I could just get one of those magnifying screens to put over my monitor, as it is the glasses I wear to read things on the computer are about seven inches thick. But don’t laugh at me, you’ll be old someday too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: